TFW Today - July 12, 2011

I think we are all very powerful women, who have the unique ability to be amazing jugglers.  We just wish we got to choose whether we’re juggling balls, eggs, bowling pins or machetes! I think we feel like we’ve lost that ability to choose and we’re scared to death to find out what happens if and when we finally drop something.

So instead of the old work-life balance theme, let’s consider the ABC’s of a Fulfilling Life.

A+ Care

Boundaries

Choices

A+ care for you has to come first.  You can’t take care of anyone or anything effectively if you don’t take care of you.

So first things first, no matter what 12 things you are juggling, take a deep breath and step back.  In reality, the most important thing is always what you are doing at any given moment.  If you’re at work, be the best you can be while you’re working.  If you’re with your children, be the best mom you can be.  If you’re volunteering at church, be the best you can be while you’re there.  Be a little kinder to yourself, forgive yourself when you need to and by all means never beat yourself up. 

Who said you had to do it all anyway? Ask for help and ask for what you need.  Too often, we as women assume that we need to do everything.  Can you delegate?  Can you hire some things out?  Find a few things and make the change.  You deserve it.

Boundaries are imaginary lines that we put in place that let’s others know what they can and cannot do to and around us. 

Many times our frustrations about balance are really about not having appropriate boundaries in place.  We need to set our own boundaries.  No one is going to set them for us.  In fact, until others know what your boundaries are they just might run all over them!  If that means that you have to leave at 5:30 every day because that’s when the kids need you at home or your mother counts on your daily visit in the nursing home for dinner, then set that boundary with the appropriate people.

Your boundaries may even bring about benefits for others as well.  For example, one client had to set boundaries with her boss about staying late at the office, which cut into her family time at home.  Once the boundary was set, the boss had to get better at organizing his time, others started putting similar boundaries in place and the whole office started working much more smoothly.  Instead of constantly putting out fires at the last minute, expectations were clearly understood and they found the best way to get the work done.

Choices are made by our priorities and values.  Different things may take center stage at different times in our life.  In my thirties, my job was a J-O-B to me and not a career.   I always gave everything I had while I was at work, but at 5 o’clock, my mind left work behind (you’re right, we didn’t have laptops then J).  In my forties, that changed.  I spent a lot more time working and focusing on what I wanted.  These were natural choices for me.  You have your own natural choices to make. 

Just make sure you are the one making the choice of what you want to juggle!

What is just one thing you can put in place for yourself to take better, extreme good care of you?  What will you commit to for the next 30 days?  I’d love to hear.